The Green
Angel
Glasgow 1988
Ronan sat up in his bed and listened. Apart
from the sound of his brothers snoring, the house was quite still. He was used
to these nocturnal awakenings and had experienced them regularly in all of his
11 years of life. If it wasn’t the dreams it was the shadows. He lay down
again, wide awake, looking through the pre-dawn gloom at the many posters and
pennants adorning the walls of the room he shared with his two older brothers.
They showed fit young men wearing green hooped shirts holding aloft trophies or
just smiling at the camera. This was the club’s centenary year and there was
hope that they would crown it with suitable success. Following the fortunes of
Celtic was as natural in the McCarthy household as breathing or eating. Ronan refocussed
and thought about his latest dream. In it an angel was conversing with his
father as in the distance a huge fire roared and flickered into the dark, night
sky. He closed his eyes and tried sleep but the vision from his dream kept
forcing its way into his consciousness.
‘Get up
Ronan, you’ll be late for school!’ a voice called to him. Ronan opened his
eyes and glanced around the familiar room now illuminated with bright winter
sunshine. He must have nodded off. His older brother, Anthony, was smiling at
him, ‘You having those nightmares again?
You look knackered.’ Ronan shook his head, ‘Where’s my Ma? What time is it?’ He struggled into his school
uniform and pulled on his plain black shoes. His mother was in the kitchen,
where familiar smells of frying bacon and toast drifted on the air. ‘Ma, can I talk to you?’ She turned and
smiled at him, ‘Of course Ronan, what is
it?’ He nodded towards the kitchen table and closed the kitchen door. ‘Ma...’
he hesitated slightly, ‘I had another one
of my dreams and my Da was in this one.’ Her face changed as she sat in a
chair by the kitchen table. ‘Tell me the
whole thing from the start.’
As Ronan walked down the hill towards school,
the chilly Glasgow drizzle caressing his face, he thought about the dreams he’d
been having for as long as he could remember. He recalled as a small child his
old great-granny in Donegal had told him that she had them too, said it was a
gift, but to Ronan it felt more like a curse. He was permanently tired and saw
some grim sights in his visions. Then there were the shadows. Sometimes if he
was in a crowd he could see them hang about some people like dark, acrid
cigarette smoke. No one else seemed to notice them and when he told his mother
she frowned and actually blessed herself. It came and went this so called
'gift’ but at 11, Ronan still didn’t understand it. Sometimes he thought he was
losing his mind and tried hard to ignore the dreams and the shadows which
haunted him.
When school was over and he returned home,
his mother was waiting by the door of their first floor tenement flat. ‘Ronan, I’ve been on the phone to your
father and he’s coming home. He’s going to take you to Ireland, says you need
to speak to your great-Gran about your dreams. She knows about these things.’ Ronan
looked at her, sensing mild disapproval in her tone. Ronan responded, ‘So he’s not going on the rig?’ She
shook her head, ‘come.’ She led him
into the living room where the TV was on. The sound was muted but the news
channel showed pictured of a gas rig off the coast of Scotland, flames spouting
from one side of it. ‘There was a blow
out, no one was hurt. Your father was due on the rig this morning but when I phoned
him and told him your dream he made and excuse not to go, got them to check the
helicopter so no one went today. I don’t know what your dreams are Ronan but
they…’ she hesitated, ‘they seem to see
things before they happen.’ Ronan looked at her, puzzled, ‘How can that be?’ She shrugged, ‘I don’t know, son.’
Ronan’s father, Dominic McCarthy, was a
tough, bearded Glaswegian who made his living in the gas industry. He drove
home to Glasgow as Ronan slept that night and was sitting at the kitchen table
when his son wandered in. ‘Howz my boy!’
he grinned as Ronan threw himself into his arms. ‘Did you sleep well?’ Ronan nodded, no dreams just the welcome
relief of a good night’s sleep. ‘Are we
going to Ireland, da?’ Ronan said a little excitedly. ‘His Father smiled, ‘Aye, old Kathleen had best hear what’s going
on. I don’t put much stock in her way of seeing things but she might be able to
help us.’ Ronan was glad, as his dreams were increasing in frequency and
some were quite disturbing for one so young.
Ireland was a place Ronan loved visiting. It
was so different in rural Donegal from the bustling streets of his home city.
He spent long summer holidays there running and playing on the wind swept
beaches with his cousins or exploring the hills and forests. His older
relatives told them the legends and history of the area and he’d play at being CĂș Chulainn, the great Celtic warrior while his cousin, RuaidrĂ would be Niall of the nine hostages. They would make dens in the
woods and splash through the chilly steams which flowed down from the hills of
Donegal. They were golden times for a boy growing up.
They journey
from Glasgow to the small hamlet of Money Beg was somewhat laborious but as
Ronan jumped out of the hire car his father had arranged to take them from
Belfast airport to Donegal his heart was light. Donegal held good memories for
him and he felt a sense of belonging here. His great grandmother’s cottage was
a small white building which sat near the dark waters of Lough Nacung, to the
east stood the brooding mass of Mount Errigal which dominated the area. Ronan
breathed in the chilly, fresh air and followed his father up the path to the
cottage. Old Kate McCarthy was waiting for them in the kitchen, warm tea and
rye bread on the table. Ronan watched as his father embraced the old woman. She
was no more than 5 feet tall and her wispy grey hair framed a face lined with
deep furrows which spoke of the 85 winters she had lived through in the harsh
Donegal wind.
Her pale
blue eyes regarded Ronan, her arms open to him. ‘My you’re certainly growing Ronan, so like your mother but your
father’s eyes, no doubting that. Have some food and we’ll speak soon.’ The boy sat by the kitchen table and began
to eat, his eyes gazing out at the cloud covered mountain a few miles to the
east. His father and great-Gran sat by the peat filled fire in the small living
room adjoining the kitchen, talking in low tones. On the wall by the fire was a
cross of St Bridget made from woven rushes. His great-Gran was adept at making
them and knew all the tales and lore which accompanied them. Their history went
back into the Celtic mist even before Christianity was established in Ireland.
When he finished eating she called to him, ‘Ronan,
join me by the fire will ye?’
His father
said he was going for a walk and left the boy alone with the old woman. ‘Tell me of your dreams,’ she said in a
kindly voice as he sat in the old armchair facing her. Ronan outlined the
dreams he could remember to her. They ranged from overflowing rivers to injured
birds on his window ledge calling to him. She listened patiently and in
silence, nodding occasionally. ‘Then
there’s the shadows,’ he said a little confused, ‘I don’t know what they mean,
I see them on people, ye know like a dark smoke around them.’ She listened
again in silence and when he trailed off there was silence for a moment as if
she was trying to formulate the right words. ‘Long ago…’ she began, ‘In the
time of my great-Grandmother there were other people who had dreams like yours.
They saw things, warnings perhaps, and were able to discern what the dreams
meant. Some called them ‘Seers’ and sought their advice. Long ago they would
foretell the outcome of battles and the like. The Church and the great hunger
ended the time of the Seers. A few still clung on in more rural places but
their day was over. Today a few are still given the gift but there is no one to
tutor them, to help them learn the meanings of their dreams and visions.’
Ronan listened with rapt attention before saying in a timid voice, ‘So…you think I might be a seer?’ She
continued, ‘More than that Ronan. These
dark shadows you see around some people are usually warnings of illness. The
darkness gathers where it festers. Some Seers were healers too and saw illness
before people were even aware they were sick.’ Ronan thought of all the
people he had seen the shadows around, a teacher at school, a boy in the street
in Glasgow, a Policeman at Belfast Airport. ‘So I should warn them?’ he said. She sighed, ‘Few would take a child seriously and the burden of seeing these things
would make your life a toil indeed.’ Ronan looked into the old woman’s
eyes, ‘So what should I do? I’m so tired
I can’t study at school and sometimes… I’m a bit scared to go to sleep.’ She
reached over and touched his hand, ‘Long
ago there was a well around here, it brought forth good water but one winter a
child fell into it. Only good fortune and a faithful dog brought her cries to
our attention and she was saved. We capped the well with a heavy stone and in
doing so lost both the danger and the sweet water.’ Ronan looked at her as
if she were speaking in riddles. She continued, ‘Your gift is like that well, Ronan. It brings both danger and the
possibility of good. But like the well it can be capped, if that is what you
wish.’
As darkness
crept down from the hills and covered the land Ronan had a filling supper and
then got ready for bed. The travelling had tired him as had the broken sleeps
he had endured for years. His great-Grandmother had left him and his father
alone for a couple of hours as she went collecting various things from her herb
garden. As Ronan’s father tucked him in the old woman entered the small
bedroom. His father kissed him and left them alone. She held a small cup in her
hand, ‘This will help you sleep Ronin and
it will also ‘cap the well.’ Think carefully before you drink it and decide if
that’s what you want.’ She hugged him, mumbling in Gaelic in his ears words
which he didn’t understand but he nonetheless felt the love in them. She closed
the bedroom door and left him alone with the cup. Did he want to ‘cap the well’ as she put it? He decided after long thought in the darkness
that he did and reached for the cup and the sweet smelling liquid it contained.
Ronan saw in
his dreams that night a man of around 40 leading a boy who looked like himself
to the top of a high hill. On the hill sat an angel. She smiled at them and
turned her face towards a great hall and pointed. It was not a threatening
dream and when he awoke he felt refreshed. At breakfast he told the old woman
about it and she smiled, ‘Tis your
farewell to the dreams Ronan, the well has been capped. One day this last dream
will make sense to you.’ He nodded, hoping it was true.
Ronan
McCarthy’s great Grandmother was correct. His dreams returned to those normal
for a boy of his age and the dark shadows he saw around some people were gone.
As the years slipped past he’d forget about his childhood nightmares and become
more focused on life. The old lady had
passed just a few months short of her 95th birthday and was given a
fine send off by friends and neighbours. Ronan still visited Donegal and always
made a point of visiting her grave which lay in the shadow of Mount Errigal
where she had spent all of her life. As he grew to manhood and had a son of his
own he was glad the dreams had stopped and glad the old Kate had helped him
stop them as it allowed him to live a normal life. Whatever was in that sweet
smelling potion she had concocted had done the trick although he sometimes
thought she might have used clever psychology on him and the drink had a
placebo effect. Either way he was free to live his life and for that he was
thankful.
Glasgow 2015
Young Aidan
looked up into the cavernous roof of Glasgow Cathedral with that wonder only
children seem to possess, ‘Wow dad! Look
at this, it’s so high!’ His father,
Ronan McCarthy, smiled at him, ‘Aye son,
to think they built these places with no electricity, no power but men and
horses.’ They looked at the ragged battle flags of long forgotten wars,
some still bearing bullet holes before descending to the crypt and the tomb of
St Mungo. Later, as they exited the old Cathedral they wandered across the
bridge outside which linked it to the old graveyard. Ronan enjoyed the time he
spent alone with Aidan. He reminded him so much of himself at that age. As they
walked in the brisk March wind they came to one of the highest hills in the
graveyard which offered views across much of Glasgow. Ronan watched his son
read some of the names on the ancient gravestones before turning and looking
east. He froze, staring at what he saw there. His dream in Donegal more than 25
years before on the night he decided to ‘cap
the well’ came back to him in a flash. An Angel, gazing towards a great
hall…
Ronan
smiled, the old woman had said one day it’d be clear to him and now it was.
Aidan took his hand, ‘What are you
looking at Dad?’ He gazed at his son, ‘Look
Aidan, there’s an Angel watching over Paradise.’