Saturday, 21 December 2024

Welcome to the Karma Cafe



 Welcome to the Karma Cafe 

 

It’s fair to say that the League Cup Final turned out to be an interesting spectacle in more than one way. The swirling Hampden wind, incessant rain and slippery conditions made it tough for the players but the mistakes this led to made it quite a spectacle for the fans in the stadium and those watching on tv. There was the usual blood and thunder these occasions bring out but there was thud and blunder too, with all of the goals down to defensive lapses or individual error. Celtic found Rangers getting in their faces, especially in that first half, and not letting them build the play or find their rhythm. It’s to the Hoops’ credit that despite playing well below their capacity, they matched a Rangers team playing as well as they have in this fixture for a considerable time. 

 

Much of the post-match analysis centered on the whether Rangers should have had a penalty and in truth, had it happened at the other end, I would be looking for one. Human error can into play though and the referee awarded a free kick on the edge of the box. Not an easy decision to make but subsequent audio recordings of the advice he received from the VAR team suggested they were all convinced the offence took place outside the box. Events since suggest they were in error but these happen as Motherwell found out too recently. Celtic experienced it recently as well when Daizen Maeda was bundled over in the box during a league match with Motherwell. The VAR review on YouTube is refreshingly honest and admits to the errors made during games.  


However, the decision at Hampden seems to have fed perfectly into the persecution complex which is developing among many Rangers fans. ‘We have been robbed in three cup finals in recent years!’ one said on social media. The 2019 League cup final, last season’s cup final and of course last week’s match. On closer inspection of his claims, we see that Chris Julien’s winner in the 2019 cup final was at best a marginal decision. This was before VAR and the officials had to trust their eyes as a free kick was sent into a crowded penalty area. He may have been off by a few centimeters but the speed of the action makes it very challenging for the officials to judge that and the goal stood. Far better looking at Alfredo Morelos missing sitter after sitter, including a penalty, than castigating the referee over a marginal call.  In last season’s cup final, Tavernier’s corner was knocked over the line but as VAR demonstrated, Raskin clearly pushed Joe Hart in the back as he went for the cross. It was a clear foul and the ‘goal’ was correctly disallowed.   

 

The bleating from many followers of the Ibrox club was partly fed by Celtic eclipsing their trophy haul and demonstrating the ‘most successful club in the world’ claim for the risible nonsense it always was. All of football’s record trophy hauls are held by clubs in smaller countries where one or two clubs tend to dominate. Are we seriously saying that winning any amount of SPFL titles is comparable to Real Madrid winning 15 European Cups, 8 world club championships, 38 La Ligas and 2 UEFA Cups?  Celtic won’t go down that road because they don’t need any puffed-up sense of importance to prop up an imaginary superiority complex. To be Scotland’s most successful club is enough for the club and fans without making any patently absurd claims.  

 

The fact that the new avatar of Rangers FC has seriously struggled to match a dominant Celtic over the past dozen years is a reminder that post liquidation, it will not be business as usual. Rangers are learning that living within your means and not spending money you don’t have is the new reality. Celtic is a well-run, profitable club which has built up a sustainable business over many years so that it now outperforms Rangers in any and every matrix. The foundations laid by Fergus McCann and the sustainable business model he preached have borne much fruit in the past 25 years. It is galling for supporters of a club which lorded it over Scottish football for most of the 1990s to realise that their greatest rivals have risen from their knees in the years since then and are set to eclipse every record they hold.  

 

The meltdown since last Sunday’s game isn’t just about a penalty decision, it is about the continuing collapse of the old order where they seemed unassailable in their position as the establishment club; as the ‘people.’ The earthquake which hit Ibrox in 2012, like the failure of the team in the years since then, is blamed on everybody else apart from themselves. The head of refereeing at the SFA, Willie Collum admitted in retrospect that Rangers should have has a penalty. It was human error of the same kind which denied decisions to other teams in the league in recent weeks. Mr Collum once game a penalty to Rangers when his back was to the play on the basis that he heard contact. It was in fact an outrageous dive by a Rangers player but Celtic fans were told that these things even themselves out over the course of the season. Celtic fans have endured a lot of poor calls in matches over the years, some of which affected the outcome of games. In the 1990s, some of these decisions fed a sense of injustice but in truth the team was underperforming and such decisions just compounded that fact.  

 

Rangers spoke of the non-award of the penalty of ‘bringing the game into disrepute.’ Yes, a club which has yet to show any remorse for the use of under the table payments to players in the EBT years, which had an unwritten policy of not employing Catholics for a lifetime, which had a stand closed by UEFA for racist chanting and whose followers filled the air at Hampden last weekend with bigoted chanting have the brass neck to say that a human error brought the game into disrepute. The referee in the match, Mr Beaton, a man who makes no secret of the fact that he is a Rangers supporter, once ignored Alfredo Morelos stamping on a Celtic player and later in the same game grabbing the private parts of another. That same evening, he was pictured in a Rangers bar, hardly a sensible thing to do for a referee. In those circumstances, it is hard for Rangers fans to allege he is biased against their team, so it’s the VAR team who are getting the flak and, some would argue, have been thrown under the bus by the SFA.  

 

Football is the most fluid and unpredictable game in the world and refereeing matches is a tough assignment. Officials have to deal with a high-speed sport in which some players actively try to con them. I think Mr Beaton had a poor game last Sunday, he failed to send of Jeftie for a horrendous stamp on Nikolas Kuhn’s ankle, he failed to allocate a second yellow card to Rangers’ defender Balogun who committed one or two nasty challenges after receiving his first card. He also made Callum McGregor retake a free kick after the Celtic skipper sent Daizen Maeda in on goal. These things happen in football and we’re told to get on with it. Those Rangers fans complaining today that they are subject to the same errors we all have to live with should reflect on the fact that they recently went an unprecedented 74 games without conceding a penalty in the SPFL. An astonishing fact given the nature of football. 

 

The Ibrox club has had more than its fair share of breaks over the years and are perhaps now finding that in the modern era they are having to accept that mistakes happen and they are not immune to them. All clubs have to accept that and we remain hopeful that better trained VAR officials will eliminate errors as far as possible in the future. Mistakes will still happen, that is human nature, but there should be no witch hunt of officials after them. The sense of entitlement which leads to this rage when Rangers get a poor call in a game reminds us of that old expression; the karma cafe is open to all, there are no menus, you are served what you deserve. Rangers deserve to be treated like all the other clubs in the league no matter how much that hurts. 

 

 


 

 

 

 

Friday, 13 December 2024

Cyclops


 

Cyclops 

‘Just so we’re clear,‘ Cyclops said, staring into Jim McCourt’s eyes, ‘that five hundred becomes six hundred the morra and seven hundred the next day. It goes up a hundred a day until it’s cleared. You fuckin understand me?’ Jim nodded, intimidated by the sheer bulk of the local moneylender. I’ll get ye it by the bells, nae worries, Cyclops.’ The big man looked at him with his one functioning eye, the other was said to have been lost in a prison fight. ‘You dae that or ye can say cheerio tae a few of yer fingers.’ Then, almost as an afterthought, he said, ‘either that or you can start delivering Special K for me, work it aff over a few months. I’ve got a big delivery coming oan Saturday, just in time for the new year. Either way, I’ll see you soon, Jimbo.’ 

Jim McCourt watched the bulky figure of Charlie ‘Cyclops’ Todd, walk along the street, the swaggering master of all he surveyed and a grade A bastard. He knew Cyclops’ money lending business was one of a few criminal enterprises he had going. Parasites like him controlled the drug trade in the scheme and cared not a jot about the lives it destroyed. As long as the tainted bank notes rolled in, he was happy. Jim headed for home, his thoughts gloomy and his prospects poor. Why- oh-why had he borrowed money from that particular shark? He knew the answer of course; to give his two kids a decent Christmas. Being sacked from his job and having a long wait for universal credit, he thought it the only way he could do it. Now, Christmas was over and the birds had come home to roost. 

Jim McCourt sat in the North Stand at Celtic Park, watching as Celtic attacked a Ross County side who had come to park the bus and hope for the best. Celtic were on a long unbeaten run. His long-time friend, Brian McAllister looked at him, ‘you ok, mate? You look as if the troubles of the world are on yer shoulders.’  Jim nodded, ‘aye, I’m fine Brido, just thinking about next week’s match at Ibrox. Any sign of a ticket?’ Brido knew him better than that but didn’t push it. ‘Still got the feelers oot, ye never know.’ No sooner had he said that when Erik Sviatchenko hit a low shot towards the Ross County goal. It evaded everyone and nestled in the corner of the net. No one looked more surprised than the stocky Dane but a last the visitors resistance was broken. 

Later as Jim and Brido stopped off at McChuills for a pint, Jim finally told Brido his problem. ‘I owe that psycho, Cyclops a grand and it’s growing at a hundred at day. If I don’t pay him by the bells, it’ll be my fingers or I’ll need tae sell his latest batch of poison. He tells me he has a batch arriving oan Saturday. ‘Fucks sake, Jim,’ Brido replied. ‘Why did ye get mixed up wi that crackpot?’  Jim shrugged, ‘needed money for Christmas.’ Brido regarded him, ‘I could scrape a couple of hundred together, much are you short?’ Jim sighed, ‘I’ve scraped about £400 together, so even if you loaned me some, I’m still nowhere near, I need £1200 by Hogmanay.’ Brido exhaled, ‘might need tae head tae yer brother’s place in Blackpool for a while?’ Jim shook his head, ‘and leave Liz and the weans tae face that screwball? No chance.’ They sipped their beer in silence for a while before Brido spoke, ‘I’ll see what I can borrow and if we dae get tickets for Ibrox, we’ll sell them on. Try not to worry, we’ll find the money somehow.’ 

The next two days limped past and Hogmanay arrived, grey and sullen. ‘I’m going tae watch the match at Brido’s, Liz. I’ll see you later,’ Jim said puling on his coat, a feeling of dread rising within him. He had scraped together £625 and was heading to Cyclops’ house before the football to pay him this amount and hopefully buy enough time to find the rest. As he turned into the street where his nemesis lived, he bumped into Brido. ‘Alright Mucker? We going tae this match?’ Jim was a bit confused, ‘I thought we were watching it at your place?’ Brido grinned, ‘naw, I’ve still got the two tickets and the bus leaves in an hour.’ Jim’s face spoke volumes as he replied, ‘mate, you know I need tae go face up to this fucker today, I’m really no in the mood for gointae the fitbaw.’ Brido looked at him, ‘you not heard the news? Cyclops was caught with enough ketamine tae light up Glesga this morning. Seems he was meeting some big-time suppliers from Liverpool when the cops pounced.’  Jim McCourt’s mouth fell open, ‘whit?’  ‘Aye,’ Brido continued, cops had guns, the lot. Wi his list of convictions, he’ll be doing ten years at least. They’re taking his hoose apart as well. God knows what they’ll find there.’  

Jim McCourt looked at the carrier bag he carried. It contained the £625 he intended to pay to Cyclops. Brido saw his confusion, ‘mate, he’s gone and he won’t be back for years. Save that for you and Liz. Noo come on, we’ve got a game to go too. They passed Cyclops’ house on the way to the pub where the supporters bus left from. Four police cars were parked outside and men in white overalls were carrying boxes to a waiting van. As they passed a small group gathered nearby to watch proceedings, Jim overheard one of them saying, ‘couldn’t happen to a worse bastard. Hope we never see him again.’ He had to agree. 

Jim and Brido were in the second row from the front of the Broomloan stand as a titanic struggle played itself out. Rangers scored early through Miller but Moussa Dembele had controlled a corner and volleyed an unstoppable shot high into the net to make it 1-1. As the game moved into the second half, Celtic were looking the more likely team to win. Celtic attacked down the right wing. Patrick Roberts moved infield with the ball and seemed to be well covered. Suddenly Stuart Armstrong darted past him into the box and Roberts slipped the ball into his path. Jim watched as if in slow motion as Armstrong fired the ball hard and low across the six-yard box. He glanced to his right just in time to see Scott Sinclair bundle the ball home. The Celtic end exploded and Brido grabbed his friend. ‘Yaaas! We’ve done it!’ They hugged each other as they had done as kids watching their first derby match years before. There would be no come back now. Rangers were a beaten team and the 7000 away fans roared out their delight. 

Later that night a noisy pub, the songs were flowing as was the beer. Some of their friends from the supporters’ bus were talking about Cyclops being jailed. Jim said nothing but tuned into the conversation. ‘Seems they caught him wi a lot of gear. He’ll be getting a long stretch for that,’ said one guy. ‘Aye,’ his friend responded, the cops seemed tae know what he was up tae. Probably hacked his phone or got a tip off.’ As Brido came back from the toilet, Jim smiled at him and handed him a beer, ‘alright mate?’ Brido returned his smile, ‘I’m buzzing, Jim boy, I’m feckin’ buzzing.’ Jim knew he had told Brido about Cyclops expecting a big delivery and wondered if he’d quietly told the cops. As the fans started another song, he let the thought slip away. However they found out, it was for the best. The streets were safer with the likes of Cyclops off the scene. He slipped his arm across his friend’s shoulder as they joined in the song... 

‘Piling on the agony, putting on the style! 

1-2-3-4-5-6-7 scoring all the while 

There’s nothing in this whole wide world 

That makes you want to smile 

As watching Glasgow Celtic putting on the style!’